Its odd

today I was at Coram Deo (the church I have been going to) and I had this thought that it was so odd. I find it odd that one person gets up in front and talks for 45 or an hour and we all just listen. I know that is how it goes, but it doesn't have to be like that. As I sat there, I imagined myself standing up and asking a question or challenging something that he said, and how if I did do that, everyone would think I was totally out of line, or just crazy. I guess I just like the small groups better because I feel like it fosters more growth in that you are able to challenge more. I don't want to just listen to some guy who is a pastor and have to take everything he says for truth. because I don't think everything he says is right. hmm... what am I saying exactly? 

here I go

un jour je pourrai écrire ceci sans utiliser un traducteur  

Well, it's almost a new semester and it's a new year. I've never really been into the holiday of New Year's but it's an idea that is growing on me. It's always nice to know that we can grow and change and become whoever we want to be every year. Except I like to think that way everyday. I feel pressure because there are so many things that I want to do, but I don't know if I'll be able to do them, I feel like it's too much for me to accomplish. I feel overwhelmed at times, and feeling the pressure from parents and people around me to make money or to do something that impresses people, but what about what makes me happy? Do I even know what that is? Probably not...

here is what I think should happen:

actually use my painting talent

learn french and know that I can

cut my nails

make better t-shirts

be more creative

read my Bible more consistently 

travel

I know that for sure, I love to meet people from other cultures or ways of life. It fascinates me that who we are and what we do and say is such a product of where we are from, who our parents are (or aren't), and who is around us.

I want to be good at writing, not just complaining and whining.

Thats a lot of things I want... now the question is, what am I going to do about it?